Drunk
by nightwalker21492
Summary: Hermione goes to Percy depressed because she doesn't know how to live anymore now that the war is over. Percy, who was just fired from the Ministry and dumped, agrees to have a drink with her and things get out of hand. Story starts with them drunk


"No...no...if you wanna learn the song you must listen and stop bloody interrupting me! Got it?" Percy scolded Hermione as they exited The Leaky-Cauldron.

Hermione had come a calling not too long after sunset, reasoning that Percy was the only one who'd get drunk with her and not ask any questions. He of course was interested in the truth behind her stories, but was content with just being around her, without the others in tow. When it was just the two of them there was no pretense or posing, just him and her.. She stuck her tongue out at him and scrunched her face.

"Don't start tellin' me what to do there Mr. Prefect! " She hiccuped, then sneezed, to which Percy painfully held in a massive guffaw.

She was right royally drunk and hardly able to talk without slurring her words. He continually checked her over to make sure an emotional crack wasn't about to occur, keeping their evening fun was his prerogative. Since the war, enjoying living had been a rarity for her. It was when she was off her rocker that the truth tended to come out and he was always around to be the only one to hear it. For him it was a unique privilege.

"What are you waitin' for?? The mood to be right...start your singsong, limey!" she slurred.

"I'm no limey...Valley Girl."

Her mouth gaped open like a gutted guppy in mock horror. She hauled off and flicked his forehead with as much strength as she could muster up, which in her drunken state was wickedly strong. He stumbled back a good couple of feet.

"I can't believe you just did that!" he said as he looked at her in shock.

"Believe it, dork...SING!"

"Bloody hell...right then from the top...think you can remember the first bit?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..." He caught up with her and they continued walking, Hermione gripping to the arm of his Dragon Hide jacket.

"It's Saturday night, I'm feeling on song..." they sang off key, but in unison, "I think I'm alright, I know I'm all wrong..."

"The drink that I had three hours ago," Percy belted out, "The next part's your's love..."

"Has been joined by fourteen others...in a steady flow!!" she roared enthusiastically into the night.

"Together now..." he instructed, Hermione gleamed (she knew the next part too...),

"So let me walk straight, don't let me feel pain...I'm gonna scratch cars, with my keys again..." They stopped walking, and Hermione sighed and pursed out her lips in a serious pout.

"S'alright love...I'll sing the next part, then you sing it back, right?" Percy asked as she nodded. 'Cos when I go home and fall on my bed...If it doesn't leave my stomach, It'll split my head. Now you...then we'll go o'er the first part again...three...two...one..."

"Cos when I go home and fall on my bed...If it doesn't leave my stomach, It'll split my head..." She took in a full breath and they hit their cue together.

"It's Saturday night, I'm feeling on song...I think I'm alright, I know I'm all wrong...The drink that I had three hours ago...Has been joined by fourteen others...In a steady flow!!" Hermione squealed and started jumping for joy over their successful execution of the ditty, to which caused her to trip over her own feet.

Percy's arm was instantly around her waist, keeping her from splattering herself to the concrete. "Careful there, Herms..."

She ignored his concerned tone and proceeded to feign playing Superman, stretched her arms out in front of her and lifting her legs off the ground. Percy continued to walk on, Hermione in tow who by now was giggling like a Tickle-Me-Elmo on rave quality speed.

"If you wanted to fly, love...we could've tried something besides the alcohol."

"Okay...feet need floor again," Hermione mused, returning to walking on her own,"Percy."

"Yeah?"

"Just Percy...I never thought about how funny your name is to pronounce...Purrr-seeee."

"You and Stephen Hawking...solving the mysteries of the universe one amazing revelation at a time."  
"Be nice!"

By the time they got to Percy's flat, they had sang a round of _Some Where Over The Rainbow, Barbie Girl _and _Oops, I Did It Again._

Hermione pushed Percy away from her and ran down the hallway yelling, "Last one to the couch buys the Chinese food!"

Percy unstably chased after her and jumped on the couch just as Hermione jumped for the couch too. Hitting each other and landing on the floor, they looked at each other and started laughing uncontrollably.

Hermione fell over laughing as Percy leaned over to turn the light on and fell forwards to bang his head on the coffee table. He sat up and looked at Hermione who was on her back laughing. He smirked and tackled her as she tried to stand up, causing them both to roll to the other side of the living room. As he continued to tickle her, she laughed and half heartedly pushed him away.

After getting tired of that, Hermione and Percy sat on the couch forgetting about ordering Chinese food. They sat there for about 10 minutes before they realized that the people they were watching on the TV was their reflection. Hermione ran into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of fire Whiskey to see Percy sitting upside down on the couch.

"Guess what." he said to her as she walked over while taking a gulp of whiskey.

"One-eyed-one-legged-human-eating-purple-Unicorn." she said as she fell onto the couch.

She looked at Percy who was looking at her in shock. "What?" she asked as she took another swig of Whiskey.

"You're cute." he said as he sat upright and closer to Hermione.

He moved a stray strand of hair away from her face and leaned in kissing her lightly on the lips. Hermione dropped the now half emtpy bottle of Fire Whiskey and wrapped her arms around Percy's neck.

--

The next morning Hermione woke up to a huge hangover and a warm arm wrapped around her torso. She looked to the body the was spooned up against her and smiled. Then she laid her head on the pillow and was about to fall asleep when she heard him say something.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"How did you know about the Unicorn?"


End file.
